I’m not good with money, I freely admit. I wasn’t always able to do that. For a long time I was in denial, burying my head in the sand trying to ignore the problem.
It started even before university. I was told I was going to fail my A-levels so I got a job with PC World as a sales advisor. Suddenly I had money to spend and I was working somewhere that sold what I wanted; it was a very dangerous combination in retrospect.
It didn’t take long for me to realise that I was not limited to the money I had; plenty of people to whom I sold stuff made use of the credit facility the store provuded. So I used. Just once, but a big once.
I put together an order for the parts to build my ultimate (at the time) PC and one of my fellow sales advisors processed it. I can’t remember how I got it home because I was cycling to work at the time, but somehow I did. I convinced my parents that it had been within my budget from savings and proceeded to enjoy my new acquisition.
A precedent
I don’t remember the details but my parents found out. I’m sure they weren’t happy about it but I’ve forgotten the details, either because I didn’t want to remember or it’s just another of the many things I’ve forgotten.
What the experience did do is set up within me the idea that spending other people’s money was great, and when I moved out of my parent’s place I took full advantage. My story with debt is enough for its own page.
I’ve been lucky
I now seem to bounce between affluent and broke, but over time even I recognise that I’m getting better at controlling it. And every time I feel like I’m in over my head I’ve had an unexpected infusion of cash from somewhere.
I now have half-decent savings but still go through periods of spending more than I should on things I don’t need, no doubt trying to fill an emotional hole.
I’ve accomplished some milestones many others never do. I’ve bought property, had nice cars, had holidays, bought almost everything I’ve wanted more-or-less when I wanted it, spoiled my friends and family on occasion, and never felt I was lacking the essential basics of a good life.
I have nothing to complain about beyond my ability to control my spending, and I’m working on that.
I am very grateful for what I have.